Wouldn’t you like to know the secret sauce to a happy and long-lasting marriage?
One of the most common questions we hear is, "How do we make our marriage work?"
Marital success is not achieved by luck. A happy married life is an intentional decision. Your marriage is what you make it to be. The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.
We’ve compiled some of the best, tried-and-true marriage rules for spouses to live by. While the term “rules” might sound intense; don’t let it get to you. In this sense, rules are merely guidelines or guideposts.
1. PRAY TOGETHER. The more you pray together the more peaceful you will become as a couple. Nothing is secured outside prayers. To get the best of anything in life, prayer is a necessity. For you to have a joyful and long-lasting marriage, prayer is a must. The couple that prays together stays together.
Set aside time each day to pray with your spouse
My wife and I prayed together first thing in the morning before stepping out. We ask God to give us strength for the day ahead. It brings us closer together as we care for each other every day.
Perhaps a better time for you as a couple might be just before you go to bed each night. It's impossible to fall asleep angry when you've just held hands together in God's presence.
Pray and read the Word of God together with your spouse. Pray for your spouse always. Don't joke with the family altar. A couple that prays together stays together.
2. One of the ways to STAY HAPPILY MARRIED is to KEEP LEARNING ABOUT MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE through the Word of God and other materials from certified Christian Family Counselors. Go for KNOWLEDGE. Marriage works by wisdom
Invest in your marriage to become the marriage of your dreams.
Invest your money in marriage books and seminars. There are so many powerful marriage books that can add value to your marital destiny.
3. Avoid trying to win every argument. YOUR HOME IS NOT A LAW COURT. You must Choose happiness over being right. Don’t be Defensive. If you discover you are at fault for something, acknowledge it.
4. Build Godly Characters. Your character is your marriage. Your marriage will never become better than you are. Bad character is a cancer in marriage. It must be kicked out of your marriage before it kills your marriage.
If you want your marriage to change for the better, you must change and become better. If you want your marriage to be peaceful, and your spouse understanding and loving, you must be peaceful, understanding, and loving. Your marriage is what you make it to be.
Make your home a place of laughter, peace, and joy.
5. Learn to forgive and forget
One of the golden rules for a happy married life is practicing the art of forgiveness.
FORGIVENESS IS A MUST IF YOU MUST ENJOY YOUR HOME. A Successful Marriage is between two forgivers living together. If you must have a joyful, peaceful, and long-lasting marriage, forgiving one another is a must
Without forgiveness, marriage cannot last.
6. Deal with anger. No matter how angry you are, never speak a word you will later regret. Avoid negative arguments. If you must argue, do it with love. Control your anger. Don’t abuse your tongue.
Some couples are divorced today because they cannot control their tongues.
Anger is one of the major enemies of marriage. If you have an anger problem, work on it so that the devil won't use it to destroy your happy marriage. Never both be angry at once. Never yell at each other
7. Communicate effectively. Good communication is the key to any relationship. It is one of the most important things in marriage. Effective communication for couples can include focusing on finding a compromise and taking steps to both listen and be heard, among other strategies. Communication in marriage includes talking about your relationships, families, finances, parenting, household chores, and much more. It is more than just talking and responding. It is genuinely listening to your spouse, understanding, and trying to come to a fruitful conclusion or solution.
8. Never compare your spouse to any man or woman living or dead. See your spouse as the best. Celebrate each other.
9. SHOW GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION FOR YOUR SPOUSE. Expressing gratitude releases oxytocin or the “love hormone” which builds a greater connection and bond between two people. Gratitude serves as a fundamental building block for a strong and enduring marriage. Appreciate your spouse.
By incorporating gratitude into your daily lives, you can transform your relationship
10. Discover and speak the Love Language of your spouse. The term love language refers to the way that a person prefers to express love to—and receive it from—a partner. The five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love whether it is quality time, word of affirmation, respect, act of service, support in house chores, presentation of a gift, physical touch, inspiring words, etc. Give it to your spouse generously.
11. The couple that plays together stays together. Find a sport or hobby you love and make it a priority in your relationship. Exercising together, dancing, playing games, playing balls, etc. Whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.
12. Avoid Pride. Pride is an enemy of marriage. Don't welcome it in your marriage. Humble yourself. Admitting your wrong and apologizing to your spouse is a sign of strength, not weakness. - When you've made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness. Never go to bed mad. Never give a devil a place in your marriage
13. If you must correct your spouse, do so lovingly. Your words can make a difference in the life of your spouse. Never speak to your spouse like a baby.
Don't shout at him/her. Avoid correcting your spouse in the presence of your Children and public. Correction should be done in love. Speak to your spouse in a way that assures him or her that you care about his or her feelings.
14. Never bring up a mistake of the past. Never refer to past offenses. Forgive and forget.
15. Marriage is a teamwork. Be there for each other. Fight together with your spouse. Let his or her battles become yours together. Never let your spouse face anything alone. Two are better than one
16. Learn to say I LOVE YOU, I CHERISH YOU, THANK YOU, YOU ARE A GIFT FROM GOD TO ME, YOU ARE THE BEST, YOU ARE INTELLIGENT etc
17. Build your marriage, your home, and your family on PRAYER AND THE WORD OF GOD, you will not regret it. Your marriage is your first ministry. You must protect your marriage from attack. Always pray together, study the word of God together, and serve God together in the church. It will prevent the devil from gaining entrance into your home.
18. Avoid fighting over money. Instead of fighting, take every financial need to God in prayers. Pray about your finances. Trust God for your finances. You can pray FINANCIAL LACK out of your life. Pray that God will give you ideas that will change your financial life. God can release ideas into your mind that will change your life forever.
So instead of you fighting and quarreling over your financial needs, go to God in prayers. All will be well
19. KEEP DIVORCE OFF THE TABLE. Never use the word Divorce to win an argument. Never, ever intimidate, manipulate, or threaten. That is emotional and verbal abuse, and it’s never a good thing. Never threaten your spouse with Divorce. There is no dignity in divorce. No threat of divorce or separation. Avoid mentioning divorce. Don’t even think of it because Love never fails. Decide to build a long-lasting marriage. God hates divorce.
20. MAKE LOVE REGULARLY.
Sex in marriage must be regular: Sex in marriage must not be based on the calendar. One thing about sex in marriage is that it is a powerful form of EXERCISE and every human on earth needs daily exercise to enjoy good health. The more sex you have, the more healthy your life and marriage will be.
As simple as these rules are, so many homes are going through hell because they refuse to practice these rules
You will not fail in marriage in Jesus' name
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Marriage And Family Therapist