He Rejected Our Marriage Saying His Father Should Marry Me

My father’s friend influenced me to marry his son who lives in North America. He said his son was over due for marriage so he decided to help him find a wife. 

I spoke with the said son on phone and video calls several times over a period of three months, though he didn’t specifically asked me to marry him he seemed friendly and nice and I therefore took his silence as consent to his father’s proposal. Things happened fast and his father met my father and they fixed a date for the traditional wedding.  

My husband was not present physically, my father in law told me not to worry that his son would come and take me to America few months later. My bride price was paid in full and we were all happy.
Four months after the traditional marriage, my father in law informed me that my husband had just arrived the country, but he would be spending some weeks in the city to sort out a few things before coming to the village. He gave me the address of the hotel his son was staying and told me to go and meet my husband there.  

The next day I boarded the first bus and I was at the hotel in the city by 1.pm. I met him but the reception was cold, I tried to hug and kiss him but he rebuked me like satan. I told him I don’t like the way he’s treating his wife, then he asked me who’s his wife, I said me. He laughed and said he doesn’t know what I am talking about, he said he’s not married. I thought he was joking so I tried to explain further but he shut me up, he said the era when men marry wives for their sons is over, he told me to go back to the village and marry his father since it was his father that paid my bride price, he ordered me out of his hotel room and slammed the door after me.  

I returned to the village in shame, going forward , since then my father in law has been calling him every day pleading with him to accept me as his wife but he said no that he cannot marry me, he said whatever we did in his absence in the name of marriage is null and void and of no relevance.

My family and his family have been trying to resolve this matter since…..to no avail. The shame and disgrace is too much, some of my friends have started mocking me, I hardly go out these day because of shame and mockery. 

Please what is the way out of this logjam?  I need advice.

Sent by Rita Wilson.