1. Do you cut everyone off when you are under stress or pressure?
There are people whose natural reaction would be to cut off their loved ones if they're going through a hard time. They don't want to share, and they prefer to go through it alone. No matter how you try to show you care, they prefer to stay on their own till they sort the issue. And once it's sorted, you see them coming back to you again.
If you don't like that approach, now is the time to discuss it with the person.
2. What mode of communication do you prefer?
Imagine trying to settle an issue, and you hear, "I don't like phone calls, please." You will be gutted, surely. So, as you are getting to know the person, ask them if they prefer texting or phone calls as their primary mode of communication. It will help you understand how to approach discussions if things start hitting up. Whether to do it over the phone in different modes or to physically meet the person.
3. Do you say mean things if you're angry?
There are people who, when annoyed by you, they will say very mean things that you will find hard to forget or forgive after the issue has been settled. No matter how much they say they won't do it again, you see them doing it repeatedly. That is their default setting.
For such people, you need to decide if you can deal.
4. Do you like going out often?
If you meet someone who prefers hanging out often and you don't, you may have a problem. You may meet an outgoing person at a point in their life when they are going through some difficulties and prefer to stay indoors. Don't think that is naturally who they are. If you don't like to go outdoors often, there will be problem. So, better ask.
And as you know, the more you go out, the more money you spend, so you have to also keep this in mind if you're willing to spend more going forward if you link up with this person.
5. Does public validation matter to you?
If you are trying to build a strong romantic relationship with someone, you are signing up for exclusive access to this person. So if they enjoy public validation often, they may, from time to time, disclose information, video or pictures you'd rather keep private. So you must ask beforehand to prepare your mind and know what you're getting into.
6. What is your genotype?
It hurts to prepare for the wedding and only realize both of you are not compatible at that point. Imagine the memories, love and connection that will be broken.
It is better to be broken at first than to be broken towards the end. Ask first.
7. If sexually active, have you treated any STD or STI in the past?
If they won't shy away from touching and doing things, then you deserve to know their health history in this part. This is also important because if you're taking any medication or recovering from something yourself, you wouldn't want someone to mess up your system.
8. Is there any disease or illness in your lineage?
Some families are prone to suffer certain illnesses due to their genes. And the earlier you know, the better for you.
9. Do they take their medication seriously?
Some people will never finish their medication immediately after they start feeling better. This is dangerous for their health.
So, if you know, you can discuss how to help each other if someone falls sick and needs assistance.
10. Do you keep multiple sex partners?
I know you would assume someone interested in you will prioritize you only, but many are tilting towards open relationships these days.
They prefer to keep their options open, which can be dangerous if you're exclusive to them. They can get something and infect you.
11. Are you the oldest, youngest, or somewhere in the middle among your siblings?
If you are trying to build a strong romantic relationship with someone, you're signing up for teamwork with this person. Hence, you should know if the whole family responsibility of this person, lies on his/her shoulders, if you can assist with the weight, once in a while and if you bear the emotional disappointment and difficulties, that might set in, afterwards.
For instance, rescheduling of dates, because something impromptu came up, not being able to have a joint savings for future plans, e.t.c.
12. What lies at the end of the relationship and how long do we have to court with marriage in-view?
There are people whose natural plan is to date for six to seven years, even if their partner is a wife/ husband material or not. No matter how you show them care, treat them with love and respect, some people have laid down goals and priorities, before they want to settle down.
Hence, you should ask to know if the time frame of marriage aligns with yours, if its not too late or too early for you.
That way, you wouldn't waste each other's time.
13. Do you have any allergies or sensitivities?
You should know about your intending partners dietary lifestyle or habits, if they have any allergies or sensitivities, that way you can help deal with certain issues or panics that may occur, during the course of your relationship.
14. Do you have any mental health issues?
You should ask your intending spouse how they cope with stress, if they've ever experienced anxiety, depression or other mental challenges?.
If yes, ask them if they're into therapy and if no, are they comfortable seeking professional help?
15. Can you opt for other child birth options if the natural method doesn't work out?
If your wife needs CS in the future, will you agree with the medical advice. Can you accept surrogacy or adoption?
16. How many kids do you have with any of your ex's? For single parents.
17. What does your anger allow you to do ?
Do you throw things or punches or snap objects?
18. What's their view about building wealth matters ?
Do you think wealth can be built by saving or investing money ?
life.
19. Do you go to the hospital when you are sick or do you believe that taking medication is a sign of faithlessness?
20. Do you have any special family traditional practice or ritual?
21. Do you like to shave or prefer to leave hairs in your body.
This would help the choice of deodorant to use.
22. Do you have high or low sex drive or you can or cannot go days without sex?
Excerpts from SM.
POV: You don't sit them down and ask these questions at once like an interview or exams. You ask it during your course of being in a relationship with them, during each time you spend or interact together.
When you are busy eating pizza, shawarma, milky donut and Hollandia yoghurt, Netflixing and chilling together. Remember to ask these questions. It's not everything they will teach you in school.